7 Reasons Why BJJ is the WORST Martial Art… Ever

BJJ Worst Martial Art Simpsons Funny Quote Climb Atop Me and Meet Your DoomI’m going to give you 7 reasons why BJJ is the worst martial art.

And guess what?

If you’ve ever trained Jiu Jitsu yourself:

I bet YOU’LL AGREE with me.

On every point.

So why does BJJ suck? Because:

You Can’t Focus on Your Real Life Problems

If you’re on the mats and your mind starts to wander?

You end up in an arm lock.

Or choked.

So when you’re training BJJ, you’re totally immersed in what’s going on in class.


Too bad if you want to be worrying about the stressful day you had at work.

Or wondering whether you remembered to pay the power bill.

For an hour or two your real world problems don’t exist.

BJJ is Mat Therapy Cartoon

BJJ is a Martial Art That Keeps Evolving

It’s pretty annoying that jiu jitsu keeps changing.

[It’s too hard to keep up!]

I liked it when the guard passing from the Gracie Basics DVD still worked.

And now, I have to worry about things like leg locks (like this!)

I mean sure, BJJ keeps getting even more effective…

The Evolution of BJJ - And It Keeps Evolving

…but wouldn’t it be easier to do a martial art that hasn’t changed in a hundred years?

Or even better, one where the number of techniques actually reduces?

Sure double leg takedowns are effective, but why would you want to train them?

They’re terrible for TV.

It Ruins Your Illusion of Being a Good Fighter

The biggest lesson BJJ has taught me?

There’s lots of people out there who can handle themselves.

But they don’t look like they can.

I’ve been absolutely dominated by:

60 year olds. 16 year olds.

Males. Females.

People 30kg heavier than me. And 30 kg lighter.

Now the thought of getting into a fight is best summed up by Joe Rogan:

Some Techniques Don’t Work For Everyone

Here’s the deal:

You learn something.

Drill it 10 times.

And then you try it against an resisting opponent…

…and it doesn’t work.


Wow, that technique doesn’t actually work against someone who doesn’t want me to do it to them….

…because I’m too tall/short/fat/skinny/slow/inflexible.

Martial Arts Techniques Too Deadly to Practice

And my ‘go to’ technique that DOES usually work…

It doesn’t work on someone else that’s too tall/short/fat/skinny/flexible!

You have to drill something heaps of times.

And then try it out against people who are less/equal/more skilled.

And learn how to adapt to different types of opponents.

That sounds way too hard!

I much prefer to drill the techniques that are “too lethal” to actually try out on a training partner.

I’ll just accept Sensei’s word that they’ll work for me when I need them.

BJJ Ruins Relationships

Jiu Jitsu is Addictive.

Newton’s 1st Law of Grappling states:

The amount of BJJ you want to do is equal to the amount of classes your school offers.

The 2nd Law?

The more you do it, the more you think about.

It’s a vicious cycle.

Next thing you know your free time is spent on YouTube, watching instructionals, and on r/BJJ.

Meerkatsu Home Life vs BJJ Life Calculator

You know you’ve gone too far if you do a Knee Slice Guard Pass in the bedroom.


You Can Spend Too Much Money

How much does BJJ cost to get started?

Well, a cheap Gi costs about $40.

Some places charge $8 a class.


There’s some pretty cool rash guards out there!

Tatami Chess Gorilla BJJ Rash Guard Australia from Amazon
Tatami Chess Gorilla

And you COULD just wear a pair of normal boardshorts to training

But what fun would that be?

Sure, even the most expensive BJJ Gi still isn’t as expensive as buying an entry level set of golf clubs… 

But BJJ can cost a lot. 

If you want it to.

BJJ is the Worst Martial Art… Because it Sucks

Well, to be more accurate:

It sucks you in!

Your turn:

Comment below… why do you think BJJ sucks?

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